I sat there as another day had passed, staring at these cold stone walls, so close to me that I can barely breathe, my mind drifts off and I begin to wonder, as I had many times before, why it has to be this way. Why was I thrown into this cruel and punishing thing that was supposed to be life? I didn’t choose for it to be this way nor did I ask for it to be either. Yet still here I sit within these walls, day in and day out…waiting in the dark. Three times a day the light would appear just as it had a moment ago.

“Dinner.” Her voice called sharply from behind me as a bowl had been slipped next to me. I looked down at it with dismay. The same shit every day. I thought to myself.

“Slop again? If you are going to keep me in here like some wretched prisoner, shouldn’t I at least have a better meal?” I mumbled.

“Eat or go hungry…your choice.” She said coldly before locking up and placing the keys back on the hook. I batted the bowl of cold slop away, it shattered against the wall, the contents flying through the air and sticking to the cold hard stone, in a few days it would smell so badly that I would have wished I hadn’t done that, but for the time being I could give a shit.

I pulled myself up off the floor and turned to look her straight in the eyes, normally I would avoid this at all costs but today I couldn’t, today I had a voice. Her expression was cold, no feeling, and no emotion, no anything…just cold. Either it was really good being her, with no sense of conscience, having a nice warm bed to sleep in every night, hot meals to fill her stomach, the company of others and freedom, or it really sucked, haunted with guilt every day, feeling remorseful, having to tell herself she was doing what was best for the family…

“Choice, oh so now I get a choice, where was my choice five years ago huh? Suddenly I get a choice and it’s to eat or go hungry? Fuck off!” I shouted as I spat at her. She did not respond as she lifted her hand from her side and wiped the spit from her face, she just turned away and walked up the stairs. Darkness had fallen upon me once again.

Once again I was left…left a prisoner in my own home and for what? Sparing my brother the life that I knew he did not deserve to life? He was destined for greater things; I couldn’t see him doomed to this life…forever. She left him there bleeding, I could tell that he had suffered enough and soon his body would go numb yet he would be still be able to feel all the pain that would envelop his body…a pain that would last for days…I couldn’t let that happen…I had to put a stop to it.

I closed my eyes and begged for the forgiveness I knew I needed for what was going to happen next.

I pounced on his body and sunk my teeth into his flesh, draining the remaining blood from his body. Once I started it sickened me, I wanted to stop…I tried to stop but the thoughts of him leading such a life permitted me…even forced me to continue. I didn’t want to do it, but I knew I had to…for him.

I never really understood how a young man of his nature could be born into such a wretched and vile family, I often wondered if he didn’t really belong to us, maybe he was adopted or left on the doorstep, the only thing I was sure of was that he was not one of us. He was pure and kind hearted…not ruthless and cold.

When my mother found out what I had done, I was still lying over his lifeless body.

“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE YOU STUPID GIRL!” She shouted at me. I just stood there as I wiped away the blood that was still dripping from my chin.

“I was putting him out of the misery you were about to condemn to him for eternity!” I retorted.

“You shouldn’t have done that, it was not your call…” she said to me.

“It was none of our calls, you didn’t even to bother to ask us if we wanted this life, I don’t want to be like you and you have rendered me helpless turning me into your mindless minion, I am your daughter for crying out loud!” I shouted.

“And he was your brother; you have to live with that guilt every day of your life and I hope that it eats you alive!” She replied.

“I do not feel guilty, I freed him, he didn’t want this…I didn’t want this!” I said to her.

“It does not matter what you want, you were born into this life it was a matter of timing and the timing was just right, the DNA in your system would have caused enough problems with you if I hadn’t forced things along…” she said to me.

“You should have just killed me!” I shouted.

“I couldn’t, you are my daughter.” She replied.

“Now you must pay, and pay you will for a very long time.” She added. She grabbed me and dragged me down the stairs, I would have fought her but she was much stronger than I and the attempts would have been futile. She locked me behind a steel cage with only a bed, a toilet and complete darkness to entertain me.

It had felt like I was down here for years, and for all I know I could have been.

I took the broken bits from my bowl and stretched them out beyond the bars trying to lift the keys off of the nail that they hung from. My first few attempts ended in failure. By the fourth try I had the keys ringed around the broken ceramic and drew them towards me. I fiddled around with the lock until it had clicked and exited the cell. I approached the door but it was locked. I looked around the room…there was no way out.

So I ran back to my cell and positioned everything on my bed and placed the covers over it to give the illusion that I would still be sleeping in my bed, and then I sat on the stairs all night, with my small piece of broken porcelain in hand, until she would open the door and the light would dawn in. I was sure it wouldn’t kill her but it would do enough so that I could escape. 

Like clockwork the door opened the next morning. I could see her feet at the top of the stairs…I waited for the perfect time…the perfect time to escape to a better life than I was living. Though I knew my life would never be the same, I couldn’t return to school, I couldn’t be seen in public, I couldn’t live out my dreams and wishes that I had carefully planned, I sure as hell wasn’t going to spend an eternity locked in a cell, it was time that I escaped, I would no longer remain…trapped.